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The GrunkleGuru

Grunkle is a slang term for the thick rough on a golf course that I have been using for many years. Given my penchant for inaccurate tee balls, I have become a bit of a guru out of the thick stuff, hence the name. This is a site for my random thoughts about sports (espeically golf) and life in general. While nothing special, it will hopefully offer a break from the daily drudgery for both you and me.

June 21, 2005

What The Guru Did

There is a hokey commercial series being run by Ford Motor Company and their spokesman, Phil Mickelson dubbed, “What will Phil do next?” and it typically results in a little smirk coming across my face. However, playing golf this weekend, it got me thinking about my blog and new segments I can try out. Therefore, I bring you the first installment of, “What the Guru did next.” (I have not mastered live blogging from the golf course yet so you will have to live with my bad decisions)

So there I am standing on the second tee at Aiken Golf Club, a short, dogleg right, par-5 that features heavy woods all down the right side. The tee shot is elevated and makes it virtually impossible to see the landing area. I have just made a bogey on one so I’m a little steamed and take out driver with full intention of reaching the green in two and giving myself a chance for eagle. Lately I have been playing a draw off the tee so I aim down the right side and take a swing at it. It’s early in the day so my body is not exactly moving in the fine synchronization that I am accustomed to, and the resulting body slide leads to a towering golf shot that starts right and continues to move in opposite direction then that which I envisioned. Can’t see it land, but I have a feeling it is in a clearing that will allow me to find it.

After the trip down to my suspected landing area (cursing myself for putting me in a terrible position and no doubt building bad momentum for the round) I come across my ball about where I expected it to be. There it is, a pretty Titleist sitting pretty good in some domestic Bermuda rough. I am now faced with three options.

A – I could punch out sideways, which is a relatively clear shot, but will still leave me about 200 yards from the hole, and require a fade over bunkers to a sloping green.

B – I could hit a low punch towards the hole and hope I get lucky. The ground is relatively clear, but the green is well bunkered with heavy rough around it.

C – I could guess how far it is directly to the hole and try to launch a shot over the trees. The angle I have in is very favorable with a lot of green to work with, but if I don’t pull it off precisely I am looking a double bogey or worse and basically ruining my day 20 minutes into it.

So, what did the Guru do?

What any self-respecting gambling golfer will do. I went for it. I figured about 200 yards to the hole with a flyer lie. I grabbed a 7 iron and took a mighty swing that combined the raw power of John Daly with the subtle fluidity of Ernie Els.

For those of you who don’t play golf let me take a second to describe what perfect contact feels like. There is a euphoria that overcomes your body when you hit that perfect shot. The ball is just a split-second off the club, and you know it will be good. The shot in your mind has become your shot in reality. You finish your swing and see the ball tracking on the exact line you envisioned. It’s traveling right through the window of opportunity you saw, and you imagine the joy and admiration that will be heaped upon you by your playing partners. For me, at this moment there was one small problem. I was in the trees and could not see where my ball finished up.

Arriving at the green, I see my ball resting 15’ from the hole with an uphill putt. Exactly where I thought it would be. I missed the eagle, but made birdie and proceeded on to the next tee where I now had the honor.

The rest of the day was an exercise in grinding. I did not hit the ball very well, but managed a 79 hitting only 5 fairways and 7 greens for the day (now you know why I am the Grunkle Guru).

You gotta love this game.


At 4:42 PM, Blogger Patrick Eakes said...

Oh, yes. We all know that feeling.

I pushed my opening tee shot into the right bunker at Forest Oaks yesterday. With 140 to the green and trees in the way, I knocked a PW to 6' and made birdie. Like you, the rest of the day was a grind, though.

At 10:35 PM, Blogger Billy Jones said...

"What The Guru Did" Good idea for your blog.

At 8:23 AM, Blogger The Grunkle Guru said...

Patrick - Man you have some major connections. Pine Needles, Forest Oaks, who knows where elese. I need to start hanging in your circle!

Poet - Thanks for the positive feedback, I think it will be a part of every post after a round of golf.


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